Knowing that you have come to the end of your marriage typically unleashes a flood of negative emotions, including anger, resentment, anxiety and grief.
High emotions are expected during the early stages of the divorce process. They can affect your capacity to think clearly through the issues, impair your judgment calls, and make rational decision-making difficult.
If you are ending your marriage due to the dysfunction of the relationship and a sense of unhappiness it has caused you, you must be wondering, “how can I transition through the divorce phase effectively”.
If you are thinking about getting divorced, this article takes you through the critical emotional considerations involved in a divorce. By learning about the divorce processes and what lies ahead, you should be able to navigate through each stage of the divorce more successfully.
The Emotional Stage
You may have already subconsciously “uncoupled”, tried couples counselling and even begun to live parallel lives.
You may be caught off-guard by your feelings and behaviour as you grieve your divorce. Still, you should know that it is normal for divorce to affect people emotionally.
“Little by little, both you and your spouse will be ready to move on with your lives.”
This stage is made harder when children are involved. They may be dealing with confusion, sadness, fear, or even anger. Your children`s feelings can make it more difficult for you to process your own emotions.
The Psychological Effects
It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused at this time. It is a time of mental separation and the development of your independence.
Take the time to reflect (why you decided to marry and divorce) and process your emotions, ideally before the legal process starts.
If you develop a negative attitude concerning your divorce, you will end up unhappy. In addition, continuously pointing your finger at the other spouse could prevent you from getting the happiness you deserve.
“It is important to remember that marriage breakup is a long-term, decoupling process.”
You can adapt to divorce healthily if you:
- Have realised that the marriage is over.
- Can avoid acting on angry impulses towards your soon-to-be ex-spouse.
- Have made peace with your spouse and yourself.
- Have a strong support network of family and friends.
- Have set your future goals.
- Have allowed yourself time to heal.
The Legal Divorce
The divorce process legally dissolves your marriage with your spouse.
“During a divorce, there is much at stake; you will need to make decisions that are likely to impact every aspect of life in the future.”
Senior family lawyers specialise in dispute resolution methods like family law mediation and the collaborative divorce process. A divorce lawyer’s expertise can go a long way in avoiding the stressful and expensive process of going to court.
Read more: Roadmap to Divorce in Singapore
The Economic Effect
In economic terms, divorce is a financial shock, which understandably raises uncertainty about the future.
From who gets what? (division of assets), to will there be a contribution in the wife`s future earnings? (spousal support), and who is responsible for the maintenance of the children? The answers to these concerns are far from simple and, more often than not, the main concerns in divorce negotiation and litigation.
“It may feel overwhelming, but having advanced knowledge, preparation, and a good divorce lawyer by your side can help ease your stress while trying to achieve your desired outcome.”
Child-related matters are some of the most contentious issues that many parents grapple with during a divorce.
As a parent, you need to familiarise yourself with the different terms and concepts of child custody. For example, what should co-parenting look like for you and your spouse?
“There is no magic equation for co-parenting arrangements,” Good co-parenting starts with a solid foundation of communication.”
The key to effective co-parenting is not having one parent feel left out.
Read more: Child Custody And The Law in Singapore