Child alienation is a situation where the child of a divorced couple becomes estranged from one parent (typically the non-custodial parent). A parent may be alienating his/her child against the other parent or against himself/herself, without even realizing it.
Here are 7 tips to prevent this from happening:
1. Make positive remarks about your ex-spouse. This will reassure your child that both of his parents remain respectful of each other.
2. If you have accidentally made negative comments about your ex-spouse, follow up with a repairing comment. Acknowledge that you just spoke negatively about your ex-spouse, apologize for it, and follow up with a positive remark about your ex-spouse. It is also helpful to reiterate that you really value your child’s relationship with your ex-spouse.
3. Do not reinforce your child’s negative comments about your ex-spouse. If your child makes baseless negative comments about your ex-spouse, you should not encourage them to continue doing so. However, if your child’s negative comments indicate that there might be abuse done to him/her by your ex-spouse, you should have it investigated by professionals.
Allow us to take it from here.
At Gloria James-Civetta & Co, we offer a free 30-minute consultation with one of our lawyers, who will explain the divorce process and assess whether you meet the requirements to file for divorce in Singapore.
4. Do not prevent your child from spending time with your ex-spouse. Allow them time to interact and build a balanced relationship. You should also avoid telling your child that you miss them whenever he/she is spending time with your ex-spouse.
5. Avoid comparing yourself with your ex-spouse. Oftentimes, both parents have different skills and qualities that are equally important to the child’s development. Comparing your skills/ qualities to those of your ex-spouse would only confuse your child, and may even cause him/her to see your ex-spouse in a more negative light.
If you feel that you are being alienated or that you have inadvertently caused your child to be alienated from your ex-spouse, you should consider seeking professional help. Ms Gloria James is a trained Parenting Coordinator Lawyer (Family Justice Courts), with extensive professional experience in managing high conflict divorce matters involving children.