When a marriage breaks down, the first instinct for many spouses is to “fight it out” in court. Friends warn them not to be “too soft”. Family members urge them to “stand up for your rights”. By the time they see a lawyer, they are often braced for war.
Yet, in Singapore, most divorces do not end in a judge deciding every issue after a long, contested trial, far from it.
– What the numbers tell us – Why divorces are so often initiated as contested – The Singapore pathways: contested vs uncontested – A System Built Around Resolution – When Do Contested Cases Usually Settle? – The Psychology of Moving From “Fight” To “Resolve”– What This Means for Someone Considering Divorce
What the numbers tell us
In recent years, Singapore has seen around 7,000+ divorces and annulments a year. In 2023, there were 7,118 marital dissolutions.
Since the Simplified Track (for fully agreed, uncontested divorces) was introduced in 2015, there has been a major shift:
- In 2015, only 24% of divorces were filed on the simplified track.
- By 2023, about two in three divorces (around 66%) were filed on this simplified, uncontested track.
That means about one-third of cases still start life on the normal track, the route used when there is a dispute over the reasons for divorce and/or the ancillary issues (children, property, maintenance).
But even among these “contested” cases, the vast majority never go all the way to a full trial:
- A Family Justice Courts paper noted that about 70% of normal track cases reached full settlement, and around 85% reached at least partial settlement through Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) conferences and mediation.
- Another speech on the use of mediation in the courts reported that about seven in ten divorce cases were fully resolved through mediation.
- The Ministry of Social and Family Development has similarly highlighted that about 8 in 10 cases that complete court-based mediation and counselling reach full or partial agreement.
Put simply:
Many divorces in Singapore start as contested, but most are settled somewhere along the way.
So why do spouses often begin down the contested route in the first place?
Read more: The Difference Between a Contested and Uncontested Divorce?
Why divorces are so often initiated as contested
Behind almost every “contested divorce” is a psychological story. People rarely wake up and think, “I’d love a court battle.” Instead, they are reacting to pain, fear and uncertainty.
Here are some common psychological drivers.
The need to be heard and to be “right”
When a spouse feels betrayed, disrespected or abandoned, they often feel an intense need to have their story acknowledged:
- “I want the court to know what really happened.”
- “It’s not fair for him/her to walk away as if they did nothing wrong.”
Filing a contested divorce can feel like a way to have their suffering recognised and to assign “fault”, even though the legal system is more focused on practical outcomes (children, housing, money) than moral blame.
Fear of being short-changed
Another powerful driver is fear:
- Fear of losing the children.
- Fear of losing the home.
- Fear of not having enough to live on after the divorce.
If a spouse believes, “If I agree too quickly, I’ll lose everything,” they are more likely to insist on contested proceedings. The contested route feels, psychologically, like armour: “If I fight hard, I’m protected.”
Influence of friends, family and social media
Well-meaning friends and relatives can unintentionally escalate conflict:
- “Don’t give in, you deserve more.”
- “My friend got half the assets; you should too.”
Stories from overseas legal systems, media portrayals of dramatic court battles, or online posts about “winning” a divorce can increase the sense that a combative approach is the only way to avoid being taken advantage of.
Misunderstanding the Singapore process
Some spouses assume that contested = serious / protected and uncontested = weak / giving in.
In reality, in Singapore:
- A simplified uncontested divorce is available only if both parties agree on all issues, and
- A case that starts contested can still end in a negotiated or mediated settlement that protects their interests.
But at the point of filing, many people simply don’t know this. They choose the normal track because they think it is the only way to:
- “keep their options open”; or
- signal that they are “not backing down”.
Raw emotions early in the breakup
At the start of separation, emotions are at their loudest:
- Shock, anger, bitterness, guilt, shame.
- Worry about children.
- Anxiety about the future.
It is common for a spouse to say at the beginning, “I’ll never agree to anything,” and months later say, “Let’s just get this over with in a fair way.” But at the filing stage, they are still in the intense early phase, and that is exactly when decisions about contested vs simplified are often made.
Read more: Managing Conflict in Your Divorce
The Singapore pathways: contested vs uncontested, in practice
To understand why so many contested cases eventually settle, it is useful to consider how the system is structured.
Two Broad Routes
Simplified (Uncontested) Track
- Applies where both parties agree on the reason for the divorce and all ancillary matters (custody, care and control, access, division of assets, maintenance).
- Once the relevant documents are filed following an agreement, parties will not need to attend any court sessions.
- In 2023, approximately 66% of divorces were filed on this track.
Normal (Contested) Track
- Applies where there is dispute about the divorce itself and/or ancillary matters.
- The case typically goes through case conferences, mediation and hearings or trial if parties are unable to reach a settlement.
Read more: Benefits of Uncontested Divorce
A System Built Around Resolution
Singapore’s Family Justice Courts are designed around the principle that prolonged conflict is harmful for families, especially children. Several features intentionally guide contested cases towards resolution:
- The Mandatory Co-Parenting Programme (CPP) for parents with children under 21, to help them understand the impact of divorce and consider their options before filing.
- Compulsory mediation and counselling at the Family Dispute Resolution Division in many contested cases involving children under 21 years of age.
- Judge-led conferences that encourage parties to narrow issues, exchange proposals and settle where possible.
The result? Even when a divorce starts as contested, the structure of the process nudges the spouses towards settlement at multiple stages.
Read more: Divorce & Children: What Really Happens
When Do Contested Cases Usually Settle?
While each case is different, settlements tend to occur in waves at certain points of the process.
Before Filing: Private Negotiations
Some couples initially anticipate a contested divorce. However, after early consultations or reviewing draft documents, they come to realise that:
- The costs of full-blown litigation are significant; and
- The timeline for a contested divorce is far longer than a simplified one.
They then negotiate through their lawyers, reach an agreement, and switch to filing on the simplified track. These matters never appear in statistics as “contested” cases, even though the initial mindset was adversarial.
Early After Filing: Case Conferences and Initial FDR Sessions
For cases filed on the normal track:
- The first case conference requires both parties to clarify their positions and consider settlement possibilities.
- If directed to FDR or mediation, many couples settle at or shortly after the first or second session.
As noted earlier, court-based mediation in family matters in Singapore has success rates of approximately 70–80%, depending on context and period measured. This is often where a key psychological shift occurs – from arguing about who is “right” to asking, “What can we both live with?”, especially where children are involved.
Between Mediation Rounds: Reality Sinking In
Not all cases settle immediately, but progress is often made:
- Parties narrow the disputed issues.
- Independent valuations (e.g. of property) or financial disclosure help clarify the situation.
- The stress of affidavits, discovery and ongoing legal fees becomes more apparent.
At this stage, the emotional and financial costs of continued conflict typically become clearer, prompting many spouses to reassess their positions.
On The Doorstep of Trial
Only a small proportion of contested divorces in Singapore proceed to a full trial where a judge determines all issues. Data from the Family Justice Courts indicates that no more than about 7% of concluded divorce applications involved a contested hearing on either the grounds for divorce or the ancillary matters.
For cases filed on the contested track, mediation remains highly effective. Approximately 70% of such cases achieve full settlement, and about 85% achieve full or partial settlement following these processes.
These figures reflect a consistent reality; although many divorces begin with significant disagreement, the vast majority settle before trial. Settlements frequently occur after clear guidance during case conferences, and sometimes even on the morning of trial, once parties fully appreciate the cost, uncertainty and emotional strain of continuing the litigation.
Read more: How We Secure Fair Divorce Settlements
The Psychology of Moving From “Fight” To “Resolve”
What changes between the moment a spouse insists on “fighting” and the moment they consent to an agreement between parties?
From Blame to Problem-Solving
Early on, the focus often lies on blame:
- “He ruined my life.”
- “She wasted all our money.”
However, as the case progresses, the court’s structure, timelines, parenting plans, financial statements, forces both sides to deal with practical realities:
- Where will the children live?
- How will parties move on with their lives after the division of assets?
- What schedules are workable given work and school demands?
The conversation gradually shifts from “who is right” to “what works going forward”.
Recognising The Impact on Children
For parents, mandatory programmes and mediation often refocus attention on the children:
- How will parental conflict affect their sleep, school performance, anxiety or behaviour?
- Is prolonging the dispute worth the emotional toll on the children?
Once parents internalise that continued conflict may harm their children more than the divorce itself, they often become more willing to compromise to secure a stable, workable arrangement.
Fatigue And the Desire for Closure
Litigation fatigue is real:
- Recounting painful events in affidavits and statements.
- Ongoing legal costs.
- Living in limbo, unable to plan housing, schooling or finances.
Over time, many spouses find that certainty and closure, even if imperfect, feel better than the ongoing uncertainty of “trying to win”.
Trust in Structured Negotiation
It is highlighted that mediation and FDR are structured, judge-supported processes where parties:
- Receive guidance on reasonable outcome ranges.
- Reality-test their expectations in a confidential setting.
- Retain more control over the final agreement than if a judge decides on the issues.
As parties understand this better, settlement becomes less about “giving in” and more about making informed, strategic choices.
Read more: Therapeutic Justice: The Divorce Approach That Actually Works
What This Means for Someone Considering Divorce
If you are contemplating divorce and feeling angry, fearful or protective of your rights, it is natural to think, “I need to contest.”
However, the Singapore experience suggests several key points:
Most cases do not end in full-scale litigation.
Even if they begin contested, the majority settle through negotiation or mediation.
The system is designed to help parties settle where possible.
Mandatory programmes, FDR and judge-led management exist because prolonged conflict can be harmful, particularly for children, and financially draining for both sides.
Being open to settlement does not mean being unprotected.
You can still safeguard your interests, insist on disclosure, and negotiate firmly while remaining open to agreement.
Early legal advice is about strategy, not just confrontation.
A good family lawyer does not simply “fight”; they help you understand your options, the likely range of outcomes, and when settlement may serve your long-term interests better than prolonged litigation.
Read more: Contemplating Divorce? A Divorce Coach Can Help You Avoid Conflict
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Our goal is to help you find a resolution that works for you.
