As a parent going through a divorce or separation, one of your biggest concerns is likely your children — who they will live with, how decisions will be made, and whether you’ll still have a say in their upbringing.
These are not just legal questions — they’re emotional ones that go to the heart of your role as a parent.
At Gloria James-Civetta & Co., our family law team has extensive experience handling complex child custody cases in Singapore. We understand the unique challenges parents face, and we work to ensure that the child’s best interests remain central to any custody arrangement.
This article addresses parents’ common questions about custody, care and control, access rights, and parenting plans under Singapore law, and how the court typically decides these arrangements.
– What custody arrangements are common or recommended for school-aged children? – Can I retain joint custody if my spouse has care and control? – What safeguards should be in place for shared parenting arrangements? – What factors determine who gets care and control of the child? – Can care and control change over time? – Can we agree on a parenting plan outside of court?
What custody arrangements are common or recommended for school-aged children?
In Singapore, joint custody is the most commonly ordered arrangement, especially when children are in school. This means that both parents share legal responsibility for making major long-term decisions affecting the child, including:
- Education
- Religious upbringing
- Major medical decisions
The court generally encourages joint custody because it promotes the involvement of both parents in the child’s life, even after divorce. Sole custody is only granted in rare circumstances, such as:
- Where one parent has physically, emotionally, or sexually abused the child
- Where communication and co-operation between parents has irretrievably broken down despite mediation
- Where continued parental conflict poses a risk to the child’s well-being
To learn more about the legal framework, visit our page on child custody in Singapore.
Can I retain joint custody if my spouse has care and control?
Yes. It is very common for one parent to be granted care and control (day-to-day caregiving responsibility), while both parents retain joint custody.
“Care and control” refers to the right to make daily decisions and be the child’s primary caregiver, whereas “custody” refers to legal authority over major life decisions.
The court may grant sole care and control to one parent, while maintaining joint custody, provided:
- Both parents are able and willing to co-operate on major decisions
- There is no evidence of parental unfitness or hostility preventing co-parenting
This reflects the principle that parental rights do not end with divorce, and that both parents should play an active role in the child’s development.
Read more: Differences between custody and care & control.
What safeguards should be in place for shared parenting arrangements?
To make joint parenting work effectively, you should consider putting the following safeguards in place:
Court Order
Ensure that custody and care and control arrangements are formalised in a court order to prevent ambiguity and future disputes.
Decision-Making Protocols
Agree on how major decisions (e.g., school choice, medical treatment) will be made — jointly through email, face-to-face meetings, or mediation if necessary.
Communication Channels
Set up regular communication through agreed platforms (e.g., shared calendar, WhatsApp group) to keep each other updated about the child’s activities and routines.
Defined Access Rights
If you are not the parent with care and control, define your access clearly:
- Overnight access
- Weekend/holiday access
- Overseas access
- Remote communication (e.g., video calls)
- Who has been the primary caregiver
- Parental involvement in the child’s life and major decisions
- Emotional bond between parent and child
- The child’s emotional, developmental, and material needs
- The child’s wishes, if they are mature enough to express a preference
- Whether a parent can ensure continued contact between the child and the other parent
- Ability to provide a stable home environment
- Practical caregiving arrangements, especially if both parents work full-time
- The child’s needs evolve
- The parent with care and control becomes unavailable
- The current arrangement is no longer suitable or stable
- Informal agreements alone are not legally binding
- The court reviews agreements made in contemplation of divorce before being approved
- Child Custody & Maintenance issues;
- Access Arrangements;
- Parenting Plans;
- Relocation issues.
Learn more: Access rights in divorce cases
What factors determine who gets care and control of the child?
The court’s primary consideration is always the best interests of the child. Factors that influence this include:
The court will also consider any special needs or vulnerabilities the child may have and how each parent plans to manage those needs.
Explore our guide on mistakes to avoid if you have Care and Control of your Child.
Can care and control change over time?
Yes. Care and control orders can be varied if there is a material change in circumstances and it is in the child’s best interests.
For example:
Any such variation must be supported by evidence and filed through the appropriate legal process. Learn more about the variation of court orders.
Can we agree on a parenting plan outside of court?
Yes, you and your spouse may create a parenting plan privately and then seek to have it formalised as a consent order in court. This allows your agreement to carry legal weight and provides clarity and enforcement if disputes arise later.
Keep in mind:
For more guidance, please read our article on how parenting plans work in divorce cases.
Need Advice on Custody, Care & Control, or Parenting Plans?
At Gloria James-Civetta & Co., we help parents navigate child custody arrangements with sensitivity and clarity. Whether you’re seeking joint custody, negotiating access, or drafting a parenting plan, our team will support you every step of the way.
We’re here for you
We have a dedicated family law team ready to listen, understand your situation, and advise you on:
