How to Tell your Spouse You want a Divorce

tel spouse you want a divorce

Are you in a place where you have decided to end your marriage and now you need to inform your spouse? Are you afraid of how they will react? Do you want an agreeable end to your marriage but are not sure how your spouse will take the news? Do you want a low conflict divorce?

Ending a marriage is never an easy task. The decision to finally end the marriage takes on average about 2 years. At some point you start realizing that there are serious differences between you and your partner. The differences may be related to goals, values and priorities of how you want to live your life. You and your partner may have grown apart and do not have anything in common. In the most difficult cases you may no longer like or respect our partner.

May people dread telling their partner that they want a divorce. This is understandable. It is a life changing event that will affect every aspect you and your partner’s life and that of your children if you have any. Many people want an amicable ending or peaceful uncoupling.

Related Article: Steps To Be Taken When Thinking To Divorce

What is required to have an amicable ending to a marriage and a more receptive response to divorce:

  • You have been informing your partner all along that you are not happy in your marriage
  • You have been working on your marriage in therapy and together you both decide that marriage cannot continue
  • You use a therapist to help you uncouple your marriage
  • You are both are mentally health, stable grown-ups
  • Both people can financially support themselves
  • Both people have family and social support to turn to as the decoupling happens
  • Both people can agree on what it means to put the children first
  • There is no betrayal or infidelity clouding the issue
  • Both parties are being honest about their feelings and intentions towards the relationship
  • There are no third parties

If these conditions are in place, a divorce can usually proceed relatively smoothly. The telling of the divorce is not a surprise but an understood and mutually agreed to event.

Allow us to take it from here.

At Gloria James-Civetta & Co, we offer a free 30-minute consultation with one of our lawyers, who will explain the divorce process and assess whether you meet the requirements to file for divorce in Singapore.

However, most couples do not usually take this path to end their marriage. In such cases, there is often unresolved issues and a breakdown of communication and trust. If either of the partners suffers from a mental health issue such as depression or clinical anxiety or personality disorders, the divorce will be complicated and need both legal and mental health support.

Related Article: How to Serve Divorce Papers in Singapore

The most important thing to understand is that if your partner has no idea the divorce is coming and it is a surprise to them, it is likely to become a high conflict divorce unless you do the proper work to help the person come to terms with the ending of the marriage. This can be supported by a mental health counsellor for either the couple or the individual.

It is difficult to end the marriage when both parties are not in agreement to ending the marriage. If this is your case, therapy is an important part to ending the marriage. The unsuspecting spouse will need time to get their head around the marriage ending. They will be scared, confused and overwhelmed. Helping them work through and to gain closure will go a long way to having an amicable ending.

Related Article: What are the Benefits of Uncontested Divorce in Singapore?

Therapy is the place to get this kind of help. It will help you and your lawyers to have a more amicable ending. If you would like to learn how you can have a happy marriage through better communication, please contact Tammy Fontana at All in the Family Counselling Centre Pte. Ltd. to learn how you could get the tools and skills for a happier marriage. When people give therapy the time it needs and commits to the process, marriages do improve.

Tammy Fontana, our lead therapist, can provide you with flexible solutions of in-office, online video session or intensive therapy retreats for you or your corporate team. No longer will business travel or extended overseas stays interrupt your ability to get high quality consistent therapy. We have you covered.

If you want to develop a legal strategy before proceeding to divorce in Singapore or need other divorce-related advice, we can arrange a consultation with a member of our team of talented and experienced matrimonial lawyers.
Call us on +65 6337 0469