If you are a parent and in the middle of a divorce proceeding, talking to your children regarding divorce can often be tricky. Breaking the news of divorce to your children can bring about a lot of confusion and insecurity. As parents, you must help them cope with this drastic change in their life.
Here are some useful tips on how to discuss divorce with a child:
Show a united front
The best way to discuss divorce with your child is when both parents do it together. Show your children that you are still a team, and the love for your children will never change.
Sit with your partner to plan the discussion with your child or children. It is best to prepare together and anticipate some of the difficult questions that they may throw at you.
Keep it simple
When you tell children about divorce, it is best to keep it simple. Tell them the basic facts that henceforth both the parents would be living separately. Even if you are going to live apart, you will continue to love your children.
Choose your words carefully
When you explain divorce to your kids, make sure to be very careful about what you say to them. Your children do not need to hear the details about why you are getting divorced. If they do ask, try to keep it as simple as you can. Never blame each other in front of the children.
Explain according to your children’s age
If your kids are teenagers or older, they must have already figured out that your marriage is ending. Even then, there is no need to exaggerate your explanation of your split. Younger kids may not even ask for an explanation. Remember to assure them that both of you are there for them always and nothing is going to change for them.
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Tell your kids it is okay to feel sad
Tell your kids that it is okay to be sad about the divorce. Assure them that if they ever need to talk, you are always there for them. Explain to them that sometimes you need to make difficult decisions in your life.
Have frequent conversations
You may not be able to explain divorce all at once. Sometimes, your kids may not be able to process the gravity of the situation immediately. It is best to talk to your kids many times to see if they have any new questions, or if anything else is troubling them. Seek divorce counselling for your kids if you feel they are not coping well.
Stress the love
Whenever you talk about your divorce with your children, do not forget to emphasize that your love for them will never change. You must reassure your children that no matter what happens, all of you are in this together. You may not be married but you are still their parents and you will continue to love them all your life.
Related Article: Incarcerated Parent in Singapore: Impact on Divorce and Children
Divorce is not easy for anyone, let alone children. You as an adult have made a decision, but your children should never perceive it as something devastating that has happened to the family. Get yourself a good divorce lawyer.
A good Singapore divorce lawyer would ensure that the divorce proceedings go smoothly so you have more time on your hands to handle your kids. A divorce can be extremely confusing for a child causing immeasurable stress.