Divorce Psychology – Pursuing Happiness

Divorce Psychology

Divorce is one of the most stressful life experiences any individual can go through. The psychological impact of divorce can be far-reaching and long-lasting, affecting everything from our sense of self-worth to our relationships with others.

Amid all the turmoil and heartache, it can be easy to forget that happiness is still possible.

“But pursuing happiness is essential – not just for ourselves, but also for our children.”

Children of divorce are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and behavioural problems.

Read more:The Effect of Divorce on Children – An Age-by-Age Guide

So how can we pursue happiness after divorce? Read on to find out!

How does a divorce occur?

In Singapore, the most common time for divorce is during the first ten years of marriage. A 2021 study found that the average duration of marriage for divorcing couples was 10.7 years.

This is likely due to the fact that couples are still adjusting to married life during this time and may have unrealistic expectations of marriage. Additionally, financial pressures can strain relationships during the early years of marriage.

The top reasons for divorce in Singapore

According to a study, the primary reason for divorce is that modern women are more financially independent and need not be trapped in unhappy marriages.

Other common reasons for divorce in Singapore include:

  • Disagreements/stress related to finances
  • Infidelity
  • Lack of communication
  • Incompatibility
  • Pressure of expectations
  • Lack of intimacy

The five stages of divorce

There are different emotional stages an individual undergoing divorce can go through:

Denial: This is when a person refuses to believe that their marriage could be over. They may not even want to admit that there are problems in the marriage.

Anger: Perhaps you are angry at yourself, your spouse, or God for allowing this to happen.

Bargaining: This stage involves you making deals with yourself or others, trying to change things so that you can save the relationship.

Depression: In this stage, feelings of sadness can be overwhelming.

Acceptance: Coming to terms with the reality of the situation and accepting it as a part of life.

Read More: The Emotional Stages of Divorce: What you May Experience During the Divorce Process

How does divorce impact couples psychologically?

Divorce is a difficult experience for couples to go through, both emotionally and psychologically. The divorce process can be very stressful and can take a toll on both partners. Studies have shown that divorce can lead to a decrease in mental and physical health, as well as an increase in anxiety and depression.

An effective way to minimise the negative impact of a divorce is to take the “conscious uncoupling” route.

What is “Conscious Uncoupling”?

Conscious uncoupling has become popular in recent years as a way to end a relationship amicably. This type of uncoupling is based on the idea that it is possible to end a relationship without all of the drama and negative emotions typically associated with breakups.

If you are considering conscious uncoupling, you can take a few steps to make the process go more smoothly.

  • First, recognise and be mindful of your emotions – grief, anger, sadness, or guilt. Accepting these emotions as part of the healing process is the first step to learning to let go of them.
  • Take a step towards healing by reflecting on and identifying the toxic patterns in the relationship. Instead of a blame game or self-rejection that may be preventing you from healing, accept what happened and work on forgiving yourself.
  • Work on communicating effectively with your ex to make a plan for the future constructively.
  • Try to let go of any residual anger or resentment and focus on moving forward positively.

Pursuing happiness after divorce

There are many ways to pursue happiness after divorce. Here are a few suggestions:

  • Make time for yourself: Amid all the chaos, taking time for yourself is important. Find an activity that you enjoy and make time for it every week.
  • Be patient: It takes time to heal from the pain of divorce. Be patient and allow yourself the time you need to grieve and adjust.
  • Find a support group: This can be a great way to meet new people and share your experiences with others who understand what you’re going through.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Dealing with the aftermath of a divorce can be overwhelming. Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends, family, or even a professional/therapist for help.
  • Minimise the trauma with expert help

    An uncontested, amicable divorce can minimise the trauma of divorce. Our matrimonial lawyers are here to help you find the best divorce model to minimise mental distress (for you and your loved ones).

    Get in touch with us today to understand more about our services.

    “At Gloria James-Civetta & Co, our goal is to help you find a resolution that works for both you and your family. When you contact our expert team, we will provide you with a consultation, tailored to your specific circumstances and goals in mind.”
    Call us on +65 6337 0469