In The Roses (2024), Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Colman portray a couple whose marriage has eroded behind closed doors. They delay separation for years, ostensibly for the children, finances, and appearances, until contempt takes over.
By then, their emotional and financial fallout is explosive. What could have been a quiet parting becomes a cautionary tale of letting things go too far.
When Waiting Feels Safer, But Isn’t
Many of us know couples who wait: “Let’s get through the exams,” “We’ll see how things go after the next bonus,” or “It’s not the right time while Mum’s unwell.”
These reasons are human and understandable. But The Roses shows the unintended cost of staying too long.
Here’s how the film mirrors real-life hesitation, and why that hesitation often deepens the difficulty.
We Should Stay Together for the Kids
This is one of the most common reasons people delay divorce. In The Roses, Daniel and Grace convince themselves that keeping the family together benefits their children. But what unfolds is the opposite: the rising tension at home leaves the children anxious, confused, and emotionally caught in the crossfire.
Experts agree that children cope better with calmly and respectfully managed separation than daily exposure to unhappiness or conflict. The timing matters less than the environment they’re raised in.
I’m Waiting for a Better Financial Moment
Some couples delay separation because of pending bonuses, real estate timing, or asset maturity. In The Roses, both characters try to protect their material interests, but in doing so, they fuel greater mistrust and sabotage.
Delaying a financial strategy can be logical, but life is unpredictable. Job loss, health issues, or new relationships may complicate future settlements. “Life doesn’t wait.”
My Family Won’t Understand” or “Someone Is Sick”
The film also captures the silent guilt many feel when contemplating divorce, particularly during times of family illness or cultural pressure. In one scene, the characters tiptoe around social expectations, unable to be honest even with themselves.
Many individuals fear disappointing their extended families or feel it’s not right to separate during a loved one’s health crisis. But as The Roses shows, postponing a decision out of guilt can allow resentment to take root, making an eventual separation far more painful for everyone involved.
Experts advise: You can leave a marriage respectfully and compassionately. But that becomes harder when emotional distance turns into bitterness.
What The Roses Teaches Us
Delaying divorce rarely makes it easier.
Why: When a couple avoids making a decision, they may accumulate years of emotional distance, poor communication, and unresolved tension. In The Roses, Daniel and Grace appear civil initially, but the delay allows grievances to fester. By the time they finally act, their split is emotionally explosive and far more difficult than it might have been earlier.
Example: A couple who postponed separation for five years found themselves arguing over every detail in court, when a calm, mediated settlement might have been possible earlier.
Unspoken resentment often leads to destructive behaviour.
Why: Avoiding tough conversations doesn’t prevent conflict, it often drives it underground. In the film, resentment manifests as manipulation, sabotage, and emotional cruelty. These behaviours don’t appear overnight; they build over years of staying silent.
Example: One spouse quietly builds financial safeguards or hides assets while appearing to “stay for the children,” eventually triggering mistrust that makes amicable resolution nearly impossible.
Children, finances, and family relationships suffer more from conflict than from respectful separation.
Why: Prolonged tension at home creates emotional instability for children and complicates financial planning. A respectful, well-supported separation may protect a family’s structure better than forcing it to stay intact.
In the film, the children are visibly affected by their parents’ anger and manipulation.
Example: Children who grow up in high-conflict households often report long-term anxiety and confusion, even if both parents remained physically present.
The Better Alternative: Early Clarity
You don’t need to make decisions hastily, but remaining in uncertainty for too long can bring its challenges. Over time, unresolved issues may become more difficult to address, communication may break down further, and the practical aspects of separation can grow more complicated.
Gaining clarity early, whether through quiet reflection or professional advice, can help you better understand your position and options. This doesn’t mean taking immediate action, but it allows you to approach the situation with a clearer sense of direction, whatever that direction may be.
We often see clients years before deciding whether to divorce. Speaking to someone early can provide perspective and peace of mind while considering your next steps.
Our team provides clear, private, practical guidance, no pressure, just clarity. Whether you’re just starting to think about it or ready to act, we’re here to help you move forward.
Related Articles:
Contempt in Marriage – A Major Predictor of Divorce
Simplifying Divorce – What Should I Do?
What Causes a Divorce to get Complicated?
At the free consultation stage, our Divorce Lawyers will:
- Assess if you can file for divorce in Singapore.
- Help you understand each step of the divorce process.
- Address questions & concerns related to divorce process.
- Help you explore your divorce options.
