Revenge, Hurt, Betrayal and Other Big Emotions that do fit into Divorce
Are you facing your divorce as a result of infidelity? Has your partner surprised with a divorce at your most vulnerable moment? After many years and sacrifice has your spouse told you they no longer want to be married?
Divorce that is resulting from infidelity or any betrayal can produce huge feelings of being wronged, betrayed, disrespected and deep hurt. Sometimes this pain can be so intense that a person may want to seek revenge.
Other times, a divorce that has been a surprise to a person because their partner no longer wants the marriage can result in intense feelings of mistrust, disbelief, disloyalty, shock, and huge grief. A person may not have seen it coming at all. These intense feelings can push a person into denial about the severity of their relationship and the situation.
Perhaps you are recovering from a serious physical illness, pregnancy, or the loss of an ailing parent. During this period, you may have been distracted due to the pain of these events. During this period, your spouse decided that they no longer wanted to be married to you. The announcement after this personal difficult life period can produce shock, hurt, betrayal and low self-esteem and massive loss of safety.
Each of these situations have one thing in common. They produce intense overwhelming blinding pain. Unfortunately, most people do not enter divorce the way they entered their marriage, with a mutual agreement. The reality for many people, perhaps you, is that the divorce is not of your choosing nor do you want it. If you have been blindsided by the ending of your marriage and the announcement of a divorce, the negative feelings can be huge.
Too often people do not understand the divorce proceedings. They look to divorce to resolve these strong feelings of revenge that come from hurt, shame, loss of self-esteem, and self-worth. People want to address these feelings and make them go away. However, divorce is not the place to seek revenge or address these feelings. Divorce ends a marriage; it does not resolve these feelings. Your legal team is there to help you get the best settlement and resolve the ending of your marriage. Divorce is more comparable to dissolving a business. At the core, it is about Asset Division, Care & Control and Access to the children of the marriage.
Divorce courts, judges and your legal team cannot address the hurt you have suffered.
Therapy is the place to deal with the feelings. Unfortunately, you are faced with huge feelings. Not dealing with these feelings will make it more difficult to get through the divorce and get on with the life you deserve.
Seeking out therapy while you are going through a divorce will help you work better with your legal team and help you have a safe place to resolve all the issues of hurt and pain that have come from the divorce and marriage. It is will also help you be better prepared for setting up the next stage in your life.
If you feel these strong feelings and do not like how they are affecting you, your children or how you are dealing with your divorce, do not wait, get help. Strong people seek out help to get the life they want, If you would like to learn how therapy might be able to help you avoid a life crisis, deal with difficult situations in your personal life, relationship, finances, health or work, contact Tammy Fontana at 90307239 to learn how therapy might help you.
All in the Family Counselling provides a wide range of ways you can work with us. We provide online therapy, in-office therapy, intensives, and retreats. We have the flexibility to meet you wherever you are to provide consistent therapy to get you the help you need. Just contact us to learn more.